Staying Afloat

So what happens when everything feels like it is falling apart? Like the ground before you has disintegrated into water and an unseen current has swept you off your feet? I don’t know about you, but for the past few days, I feel like I’ve lost my foothold on life- as if my mind is swimming in the depths of a dark abyss.

How do you maintain a happy state of mind when you feel like you’re struggling just to stay afloat? This is something I’ve been asking myself. Staying happy is a choice, yet sometimes it doesn’t come all that easily. But, IT IS POSSIBLE to bring yourself back. It is possible to regain a more positive mindset. Below are things that I’ve found to be helpful during this time.

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• Rearrange what your life priorities are
Think hard about why you’re feeling the way you are. Is your job not sitting right with you anymore? Did something happen that triggered old emotions? I usually like to take this time to sit down and write out my priorities in life. For 5 minutes, write about what you’d like your dream life to be like in 5 years. Imagine there are no boundaries, no limitations (because there actually aren’t) and describe your perfect life in such vivid detail. Then reflect and figure out how to make that life happen. Because you deserve it.

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• Go to people that make you happy
The company you keep can either help ease your mind or exacerbate the chaos. If you need some alone time, take it, but be careful not to shut people out during this time. Reach out to those who won’t judge you, those who will just listen and hold your hand without saying anything. Sometimes, we just need the presence of another human next to us. And a good hug. People who do this are so, so important. (that awesomely awkward picture, tho? Because, internet.)

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• Make a small daily or weekly goal
Every day or every week create a small goal, something you enjoy and look forward to that can carry you over from one day to the next. Maybe it’s just laying in bed, or reading a book you’ve been meaning to read. Maybe there is a new Netflix film you’ve been wanting to watch. Or maybe you just want a dang cupcake. Whatever it is, having a small victory can help boost your spirits while taking life one day at a time.

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• Essential oils
Orange essential oil is great to brighten up the senses. In emergency cases, I even put some on right under my nose so I can smell it constantly. Make sure the oil is skin safe. I also like to keep amber and rose oil in my arsenal. Amber helps to ground you. And rose promotes universal and self-love.

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Color therapy
Surround yourself with bright, happy colors. Like essential oils, colors can greatly effect your mood. Change the background on your phone or computer to something so over-the-top it’s ridiculous. The brighter, the better.

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Crystals
Crystals give off a certain vibration that resonate with certain emotions. By choosing crystals like smoky quartz, black tourmaline, and tiger’s eye, you’ll feel more grounded and protected in your environment.

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Music
Pay particular attention to the lyrics of the music you’re listening to. Sad melodies or painful lyrics will only help to keep feeling blue. Like colors and crystals, music is made up of certain vibrations and frequencies that resonate on certain levels that can perpetuate low, unpleasant emotions. Instead, put on music that makes you want to dance and be happy! Hannah Montana is my go-to. The song “Life’s What You Make It” is my jam.

What I keep telling myself, and what I’m telling you, is: it’s going to get better. Just like the tides, emotions ebb and flow. It’s the natural course of things. Take a deep breath. You are not your emotions. Your soul runs deeper than that. We wouldn’t know what happiness is if we didn’t know what not being happy felt like, right?

Ride the wave of your emotions, and try your best not to get dragged down.  We’re all in this together. And you are NEVER alone. If you feel that way, please, please reach out. I am always here for you.

In the words of Hannah Montana, “life’s what you make it, so let’s make it rock!”

-Ze ❤

**Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with any links that I post. Any programs, products, sites, etc. I mention are for sharing purposes only.**

Who Makes You Happy?

I planned on doing something else for this week, but a recent hang-out with a good friend inspired this one.

My previous post “What makes you happy?”, is all about doing the things that bring joy into your life. But, that is only one part of happiness. Who you hang out and interact with is just as important. Friends can help/let you grow, or keep you down. A thing I’ve encountered with a lot of people is that they feel like their current friends are permanent, regardless of if their friend(s) say or do things that don’t sit well with them. Then, there are also the people who only focus on your struggle and not your progress. It doesn’t have to be that way!

Your social circle is within your control. I repeat, your social circle is WITHIN YOUR CONTROL. You absolutely DO NOT need to be friends with people who make you feel bad about yourself, who ridicule you, or who have bad habits that they make you partake in or enable you. It does take a lot of courage to end some relationships, but your wellbeing is at stake and, you need to take care of you! It’s okay if people no longer fit into your life- it’s meant to happen that way. Friends will come and go (think of the old children’s song, but everyone is gold), and also some will stay constant. You can grow together, or grow apart, and all of it is by design.

According to the New York Times, Oxford’s number one word of last year was “toxic”. It pertained to the uprising of naming people and things as being toxic to your wellbeing. It does, however, go the other way. You can be toxic to other people’s wellbeing. I’ll share an example of this. I had a best friend I met in high school and our friendship lasted a good portion through college. We hung out so much that I thought I couldn’t live without her. This was tested, however, when she suddenly stopped talking to me. It seemed like it was out of the blue. I was completely blindsided and hurt. But then, as I started replaying our years of friendship over in my mind to get some sort of answer to how things went awry, I realized I was telling the story all wrong.

We always had to go out and spend money. We could never just sit at home like  I did with my other friends. There was a competitive element to us, and I am NOT a competitive person. Also, I was selfish. I remember getting mad when she couldn’t give me a ride somewhere or if she canceled plans, because, now I was inconvenienced. In the end, I came to the conclusion that I was the toxic one. This moment was integral to my self-growth. My whole life shifted. It was a beginning- a rebirth.

This is when I became aware of my actions. If this friend never stopped talking to me, I would have never seen how I took her for granted (probably others, too) and saw how egocentric I was. From then on, I made sure I show the people I care about in my life just how important they are to me. I tell them “I love you” often, and share what I admire about them because I don’t want to make the same mistake again. The ending of this friendship was absolutely necessary for the both of us.

As we advance in our personal growth, we outgrow old habits, and sometimes, that means outgrowing relationships. Nothing in this life is stagnant. Even if it’s at a snail’s pace, things are evolving, changing, -including you if you let yourself.

If you would like to read the whole article about 2018’s word of the year, click here

-Ze ❤

**Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with any links that I post. Any programs, products, sites, etc. I mention are for sharing purposes only.**